


black and white, grey and purple

by WonderstruckSwan



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Asexuality, Character Study, Coming Out, Established Relationship, F/M, I guess???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 17:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18945691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderstruckSwan/pseuds/WonderstruckSwan
Summary: When Cady gets a phone call from Aaron, asking him to meet up, her mind immediately springs to the worst. Aaron reveals a part of himself to Cady that she never knew about.





	black and white, grey and purple

Stretched out on the bed, toes toughing the wall, Cady jots down the answers to more calculus problems, her American Literature homework on the ground, untouched. Damian shines in their literature class and Janis can pull out a good essay when she needs to, but her… not so much. There are too many different interpretations for her and teachers tell her there’s no right or wrong way to answer it the questions. So she keeps literature at bay for the time being, until Damian can help her make sense of it, losing herself in her math problems. She goes through them systematically, rewarding herself with a bite of her candy bar when she finishes a page. Sometimes, she and Aaron like to see who can complete a page in the quickest time.

As if on cue, her phone rings, Aaron’s face filling the screen, complete with his swoopy hair and big shiny eyes. She took the picture when they went to the street fair together, him hugging the big soft toy elephant she won him at the bottle toss game.

“Hey,” Cady answers, turning onto her back to look up at the glow in the dark stars stuck onto her ceiling (one of the many things Damian had got her for her seventeenth birthday, all wrapped in a gift bag). When she turns off the lights at night and looks up at her ceiling, sometimes she feels like she’s back in Kenya. “What’s up?”

“Cady?” he asks, and the hairs on the back of her neck immediately prick up at how shaky his voice sounds. “Hey, um, are you busy right now?”

“No,” she answers, pulling herself up and sitting against the wall. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “No. I don’t-Look can you come over? There’s just something I need to tell you and I sort of need to do it in person.” Cady bites her lip. This is rarely good. She’s watched so many TV shows with Karen and Gretchen and these kinds of phone calls always lead to a breakup or a death in the family.

“Aaron? Aaron did something happen?” she asks, her voice small. On the other end, she hears him take in a deep breath.

“Yeah,” he replies. She nearly drops the phone.

“Something bad?” she asks.

“No, no, not at all,” he assures her hurriedly. “At least, I hope it’s not bad. Is it okay to come over? Or we can go to the park?”

“Yeah,” she answers. “Yeah, yeah the park would be great.”

“Okay. Okay I’ll go now. I’ll be there in about five minutes.”

“Sure,” she says. She tries to think of something, anything, to get him to change his mind about breaking up with her. If that’s what he wants to do. “Aaron?”

“Um-hm?”

“Um, I really like you,” she says.

“I know,” he replies. “I like you too. I’ll see you there.”

He hangs up before she can reply. She takes a big drink of water, but her mouth remains dry. She checks herself in the mirror on her wardrobe. Her hair is pulled back into a loose ponytail, and she’s only wearing khaki shorts and an old t-shirt, not having planned to leave the house that morning.

“Oh God!” she says out loud. She looks like a jungle freak. A formerly home schooled jungle freak, which isn’t the kind of girl Aaron likes. She dives towards her wardrobe, pulling out a white lace tank top and jeans with flowers embroidered on the sides before throwing on her jean jacket. She still looks bad-she hadn’t showered that morning so her hair is greasy, but there’s no time left. She hopes she can make one good impression on Aaron to change his mind.

As she runs down the stairs and dashes out the door after telling her parents where she was going, her finger hovers over Janis’ name in her contacts. She doesn’t know exactly how much Janis could help, but she knows she might need to hear her voice. And cry on her shoulder for an hour and twelve if Aaron is ending it between them. She looks at the screen, her finger hitching to hit “call” but opts for putting the phone in her pocket instead. She knows Janis has a date with the girl Rachel tonight (a senior, as Damian had pointed out while wiggling his eyebrows) and she’d rather her friend focus on her own love life rather than get involved in hers.

She finds Aaron sitting on a bench next to the lake, the same place he had taken her one day to feed ducks and eat ice cream. Back then, she had thought it was amazing, and her stomach had hurt from laughing, but now all she can think is how babyish it had been.

“Hey,” she says. He doesn’t seem to hear her, his head down and lost in his own world, biting hard on the nail on this thumb. “Aaron?” She touches his shoulder gently. “Aaron?” That gets his attention, making him jump and look up at her. His hair is wild, like he had run his hands through it a lot while waiting for her.

“Hey.” He gets up and takes her hand. He offers her a weak smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you so much for coming.”

“You sounded pretty nervous on the phone,” she tells him. “Is, um, is everything okay?”

“Kind of,” he replies. Beside him, his hand curls into a fist, probably to stop him from biting his nails. “Look, Cady-I really like you.”

“I like you too,” she replies, smiling at him.

“And I’ve really liked dating you these past few weeks,” he goes on, his words coming faster. “You’re awesome, and you’re funny, and you’re smart and I-” He takes in a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “And I want to tell you something and it’s too important to tell you over the phone.” She just nods, her words stuck in her throat. He lets go of her hand and digs his fist into his palm, letting out a long, shuddering breath. “Woo, I did not think this would be this hard.”

“Aaron?” she asks. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s okay.” She sees the panicked look in his eyes and guides him to the bench, helping him sit down, rubbing his back.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “This is just a lot harder than I thought it would be.” He closes his eyes, squeezing his hands together. It takes a while before he opens them again. “Okay, so recently, I’ve discovered something about myself.” Cady nods. “Well, not really recently. I guess I’ve sort of always known, but I haven’t at the same time. Does that make sense? Like I was in denial about it, but I knew.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” she replies. He nods, smiling shakily. “Aaron, you can tell me.”

“I know,” he says. “I just don’t want to lose this. For all this to stop.”

“You think it might?”

“I don’t know.” He turns and looks at her, biting his lip. She thinks she sees the faintest hint of tears in his eyes. “Cady… I’m asexual.”

“Oh,” is all she can say. She knows what asexuality is, of course. She was on the committee for her school’s LGBTQIA club, newly set up by Janis, which had handed out leaflets about every identity they could on that first day. She remembers vaguely Taylor Wedell and her black, grey, white and purple nails explaining asexuality to a group of wide eyed freshmen while she managed the bisexuality table. Aaron had been there too, co-presenting with Damian about being transgender. She thinks she remembers him looking wistfully at Taylor’s stand, but isn’t sure if it really happened or her brain is making it up right now. “Well… cool.”

“Cool?” he says, softly laughing. “Cool?”

“I mean… yeah, cool,” she says. Stupidly, she starts thinking about all the things her parents had said to her when she came out. “I’m happy for you. I’m glad you worked it out.” Aaron smiles, squeezing her hand gratefully. “How long have you known-it’s okay if you don’t want to answer that.”

“No it’s fine,” he says. His smile gets brighter, his shoulders relaxing. Cady slides one arm around him. “I guess, I sort of knew when I was 15. Sort of subconsciously. All my friends were talking about sex and making out and I just, I didn’t see the appeal. Most of it sounded gross.” He even shudders now, but quickly becomes aware of her. “I mean, I like kissing you. A lot. But just kissing, you know? All that tongue stuff… I don’t think I want that.”

“Okay,” she says. “Okay, cool. We don’t have to do that.”

“Thanks,” he says before continuing. “And then the next year, I don’t know what I was doing, I was just looking around online and I saw it. I saw the word ‘asexual’ appear on my screen and it just felt… right, I guess. Like nothing else really made sense. Like all the puzzle pieces sort of clicked into place, or like when you work out the answer to a calculus problem, you know. Like there was this big secret about myself I didn’t even know until then. Like finding the Holy Grail or something.” He turns to her, his cheeks pink. “Sorry for blabbing all about it.”

“No, Aaron, it’s fine,” she says. “More than fine. So, you knew then?”

“Well,” he says. “I did and I didn’t. It wasn’t until one point last year. I was dating Regina, and we were at some party. And we were kissing because that’s what you do when you’re dating, right? And she um, she opened her mouth a little-sorry this is gross. All you need to know is, she tried to get her tongue in there, and all I knew is that was the last thing I wanted.” He looks down at his legs. “So I uh, pushed her away and said I needed the bathroom.” He shakes his head at himself. “Then I cried in the bathroom for half an hour.”

“Oh, Aaron,” Cady whispers, and she pulls him into a tight hug. He rests his head and her shoulder and she feels him let out a long breath, sagging into her arms.

“That’s when I knew for sure,” he explains, kissing her shoulder gently. “That was when I decided ‘yep-I’m ace’. Crying on the floor of one of my friends at a house party.” He snuggles tighter into her embrace. “And I thought about it a lot these past weeks. I knew I needed to tell you.”

“Thank you for telling me,” she says. He pulls away just enough to look at her, their hands staying intertwined on his lap.

“You still want to be with me?” he asks. “Even after…. That?”

“Aaron, of course I do,” she replies, stroking his cheek. “You think I wouldn’t?”

“No, I know you’re not like that,” he says. “It’s just…” He holds her hand tighter. “Sometimes with Regina… She dumped me a week after that and I keep thinking what if she dumped me for someone normal?” He smiles bitterly. “Someone who likes making out. Someone whose brain isn’t broken.”

“Aaron, you’re the most normal guy I know.” She meant it in all sincerity, but she didn’t take the time to think through it before saying it. She pauses, wishing she could cram the sentence back into her mouth, but Aaron bursts out laughing. Still, after everything, she likes seeing him laugh.

“Thank you?”

“You know what I mean,” she says, smacking his shoulder gently. “I mean like you’re not… weird. Or broken.”

“Thank you, Cady,” he says, hugging her again.

“Hey, but tell me if I cross any boundaries, okay?” she asks. “Even on accident. I never want you to feel like that again.” She can’t see it, but she feels Aaron smiling against her shoulder.

“Sure,” he answers. He pulls away and she lets him lift her to her feet. “So, to make sure I didn’t drag you all the way out here just for my problems… Can I buy you an ice cream cone?”

“That would be great.” As she slides her hand into his, she feels her wrist bump against a small leather bracelet. She looks down and sees it; black, grey, white and purple. Aaron looks down at it too, but he’s not embarrassed. Instead, he smiles and kisses her head, his own fingers touching the bracelet on his wrist.

He’s not broken. He’s whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Much of Aaron's experiences and thoughts are sort of lifted from my own experiences in coming to terms with realising I'm ace, so there's a little self-projection here.  
> Please leave comments and kudos if you liked.


End file.
